Sharing At Support Group

On Sunday i did the long share in support group. I feel like i had a plan of what i was going to say and somehow got lot along the way. I don't know if everything even ended up making sense. The topic was on validating our memories. I talked about disassociation, and recovering new memories, dealing with memories, and the moments when i realized i had to stop running from them. Then i talked about the baby. Me getting pregnant as a young girl. That taboo topic that i never speak of. The room felt like it kind of stopped for awhile, like someone was sucking the life out of me. I spent the rest of the night afterwards shaking and feeling like my mind was racing. It's so hard to talk about this or even acknowledge this. Some much different then other memories. Because by getting pregnant under those circumstances i felt like i was losing so much more then i already lost. The Devil took so much away from me already and now when i think of pregnancy and motherhood i still see his face because he took that to.