LOVE

I am surrounded by so many people, all of these friends that love me and i can't help but wonder how did i get here? How did i find this? I had no one and i felt like nothing. I wanted so badly for someone just to touch me. Place a hand on my shoulder, hug me. Any kind of human contact. I was dying with out it. Sinking into a black hole in the earth. And here it is. Here is love. Here are arms embracing me. I found a place to call home and it not a house but in the hearts of people with spirits so beautiful that they don't even seem real. Is this real? Sometimes i think i made it up, made them up. That really there is no love. How can it be real? It doesn't make sense that once i felt so dead and empty, a ghost floating around the earth. Just an empty shell with broken bits of a girl inside. And now to feel so alive and vibrant and here, and solidly placed with my feet on the ground. I sometimes don't even recognize the sound of laughter coming from my own lips or the unfamiliar feeling of smiling to much. Is this me? Is this happening? How can I be that same dead girl that was so invisible and missing so much? Yet none of those missing parts seem to matter much anymore. Maybe it will always surprise me that people are even capable of loving me or that I am even capable of loving them in return. Surprising that i can even open myself up those arms and arms of people. Surprising that i'm even still here, alive everyday to feel this.