School

I sit here at this computer registering for college two months shy of turning 24 and feeling so incredibly old. It seems as if a lifetime of time and experiences have already touched me. I have no idea who I am or what i want or what I like. In some ways i still feel like a child. So inquisitive and open to new things. Ready to get started and learn and grow and become someone. Then there's this other part of me that says "hush now...you can't go back to school. You can't do this. People like us don't go to college. We work and we get tired and we get worn out and we live in the real world." I hate that other part of me because it makes me feel as if i don't deserve this. As if i did something wrong and don't deserve to have a career that i can be proud of. I know I do deserve a future. I deserve a life. So I don't know why i feel as if i don't. I missed so much already. 18 years spent in hell and several after spent in a different type of hell that i was creating for my self in my own head. I just feel so old. So tired and used up. I've already lived a life. One of a million years. How do I begin this new one?