Three days of body memories, flashbacks, and crying on the floor in a ball. I couldn't take it anymore so I ditched work at noon and ran to a friend. Another survivor (the one who did my tattoo) who understands. We spent the day cooking and dancing to oldies. It went from being the worse day to one of the best. I am so happy that i have such amazing and supportive people in my life. I wouldn't be where I am without them.
And most of my body memories went away while I was there. Tho their coming back now, I know I can handle it because I'm stronger then these memories. My wrists may hurt and my hands may be numb but no rope binds them anymore. I just have to keep telling myself that. That rope was there a long time ago. Now I'm free and these feelings are in my head. I will get through this. I will get through this.
I'm glad to hear that you where able to have a little fun today, and you where able to reach out to someone! <3 that's another good step!! I'm sorry to hear about your flashbacks/body memories... :( Its not fair to any of us that we have to live through what happened, and then even after its stopped, we still have to deal with it, it runs our lifes, weather we like it or not... we just have to remember to reach out for help, be ourselves, remember that people are here for us now, and everything will be okay, we have to break down everyone in awhile, but thats normal, and its okay!
ReplyDeleteKeep staying strong!! <3 you are an inspiration to us all!
I'm her if you ever need to talk~ <3
Thank you so much! Your comments always help encourage me. <3
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