This is a diary about me, about my life, and about the abuse that I suffered. I write not for pity or attention. I write to find my voice and shed light on issues that are too often kept locked away in darkness, deep in the minds of their victims. I have held my secrets for too long, so I share them with you now, both friends and strangers so I can ease some of the weight that i carry on these shoulders.
I can relate to what you are going through.. because I'm in the same state. It's painful. So much painful. Doesn't let me sleep at nights. I want to sleep but the feelings don't let me do so. It gets in my nerves and veins. The pain. And the need for someone to hold me tightly in his arms close to him..so that no one can ever harm me again. But there is no one. That hurts even more. Only the dark walls surrounding me. I want to cry.. but tears don't come. I want to sleep so badly, but sleep doesn't come. I want to sleep in someone's lap who love me.. but no one comes. Never. Nights are a curse.. which compels me to thinks what wrong I did to go through that. Lying on the floor I used to think.. where is everyone? Mom, dad, sisters.. where are they all gone.. Why didn't they ever understand. More than them, I'm angry on myself. Why don't I speak? Why didn't I ever try to speak about him. I can't speak. I still can't face it in reality. I don't want people to know about that. But at the same time I wish if someone knew and held me in his lap with immense love and care. Confused. I am.
I am sorry for your pain. If you ever wanna talk you know where to find me on EP. I'm a good listener, I care, and I understand. I can wrap my words of comfort around you like arms holding you tight keeping you safe.
well if you ever need someone to talk to about it im a good listener. You can email me. Silverstar415850@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteHI. I'm your EP friend.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to what you are going through.. because I'm in the same state. It's painful. So much painful. Doesn't let me sleep at nights. I want to sleep but the feelings don't let me do so. It gets in my nerves and veins. The pain. And the need for someone to hold me tightly in his arms close to him..so that no one can ever harm me again. But there is no one. That hurts even more. Only the dark walls surrounding me. I want to cry.. but tears don't come. I want to sleep so badly, but sleep doesn't come. I want to sleep in someone's lap who love me.. but no one comes. Never. Nights are a curse.. which compels me to thinks what wrong I did to go through that. Lying on the floor I used to think.. where is everyone? Mom, dad, sisters.. where are they all gone.. Why didn't they ever understand. More than them, I'm angry on myself. Why don't I speak? Why didn't I ever try to speak about him. I can't speak. I still can't face it in reality. I don't want people to know about that. But at the same time I wish if someone knew and held me in his lap with immense love and care. Confused. I am.
Butterfly.
I am sorry for your pain. If you ever wanna talk you know where to find me on EP. I'm a good listener, I care, and I understand. I can wrap my words of comfort around you like arms holding you tight keeping you safe.
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