Months ago I found a support group for adults who were abused as children. And I thought maybe It would be a good idea to try It and see If It helps me at all. So I went and the second I got there I felt out of place. Everyone seemed so depressed and done with life. They were there because they were done with life and just wanted a place to go to talk about their feelings. I was there because I wanted to find a way to live and be happy. But I stayed. I open up a little bit about my story as awkward as sharing was. And Instantly I felt sick. When the meeting was over I was completely calm, got In the car and drove myself home. I pulled In the drive way and that's when the shit hit the fan. I started shaking uncontrollably, crying, and hyperventilating. This went on for hours and hours. Finally my phone rang and I talked to a friend and that was the only thing that calmed me down. Finally I could leave the driveway and go inside the house. The entire next week was horrible and I could barely sleep or eat.
I never went back to the group because of my strong reaction. Now as sometime has passed I am beginning to think that maybe I should go back. Maybe I just have to learn to push past that first initial reaction and keep going. I don't know what to do. I don't want to feel like that again, especially to feel like that and be alone. But I also know I need to work through some of my issues. Maybe the group can help. The next meeting Is tomorrow night at 730. I'm scared, and nervous, I don't want to do this alone. I have a day to decide to go or not....
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